I went out like a big whore this morning to go buy some shoes, because yesterday moon face deposited me 25 dollars that converted to bolivars are worth a dick. For that reason I stopped early, before the sun came up. Because this week the son of a bitch Bolivar is on the ground.
I had already seen the shoes for days, and I had told the moon face that with that money I could buy two pairs of those shitty shoes, who don’t say who makes them or where. Yellow cover they were told before.
Because the point is that if you have several of those shoes, you vary them and thus they last a little longer. Poor strategy.
I got up early because the devaluation is unstoppable, next week the minimum simon reaches 12 if not up to 15.
Every dick is through the roof this week. The prices are up, how did they give them Viagra?
At dawn when the Sachero Violin went to bed I felt that it was drizzling, and between sleep I managed to think:
—Nogoda it’s raining. I won’t be able to go shoe shopping.
When I woke up she was not raining, but the sky was overcast.
—You have to go quickly to buy shoes before it rains and the bolívar is worth less. I thought.
I got dressed quickly and hit the streets. Right there a bus passed and I got on, when I saw the stop, I yelled:
—At the stop.
I hand two 1 bolívar bills to the bus driver and the driver tells me:
—That’s three bolivars.
—If yesterday morning I paid 1.50, when did the ticket increase?
—Yesterday in the afternoon.
The vergaos don’t lose one.
Since I already had one foot in the street and half my body out of the bus, I got out and didn’t give him one more motherfuckin’ pussy.
Verga, it’s that they fuck you from all sides. These pussies and mothers increased the passage without stopping anything balls. Every cock increased more than 10 bolivars.
«He who allows himself to be dominated deserves to be dominated,» says Despentes.
That’s why they have the ball inside us.
Ajilaito I went to the shoe store. I was poking my eye to see how the dollar was. At 7.84 according to the Central Bank I saw over there on a billboard.
—Verga, the two pairs of shoes cost me 160. I have enough money, I said to myself.
He arrived at the shoe store and I see that they are 12 dollars.
—Damn and the mother, they’ve already been uploaded. I thought.
I looked calmly and saw the $10 ones I had seen two days before. There they were. She told a boy:
—How are they quoting the dollar?
—To the Central Bank.
—And how much is that?»
Because one cannot take anything for granted.
—The girl at the box tells him.
—Oh.
She told a boy that she was attending to a jeton.
—I want two pairs of these. How much do they cost in bolivars?
Because the guevón pays in bolivars, it’s like carrying the tricolor backpack.
—Let’s go ask the cashier.
—Let’s go.
—Mary, sir…
There I looked around to see who he was referring to. He was to me.
—You want two pairs of these shoes. How much do they cost in bolivars?
—A 156 and cock.
Maria answered.
—It’s okay. Give me one black and one blue. She size 40.
Because you have to remember that shitty shoes have to be bought one or two sizes larger and if possible up to three. Because the last never fits one’s foot. Or they are bigger or smaller, but they never coincide with the number one.
—I’m taking care of him, I’m taking care of that man.
The boy told me.
—Well, don’t worry, I’ll wait for you, no problem.
The cock was buying the shoes today. Because not even the most faithful believes that the dollar is going to go down.
And wait. The very kind boy tells me:
—I’m already looking for your shoes. Size 40, right?
—Yes.
He went looking for me and he brought me the shoes.
—From the blue model we have size 41 and from the black only 42.
the boy tells me
I take off my shoe to measure the new ones —and since I left in a hurry I didn’t realize that I hadn’t put on the respective stockings— the ones I had on at first glance I counted three holes above them. That’s where I stopped counting.
—Damn and the mother, I told myself. Total in this poor man’s dies who the hell is going to realize that my stockings are torn.
I looked to the side and saw an old woman who had shoes like the 6 dollar ones that I have. She was buying others like me.
—Colleagues, I told myself.
I measured 42, but it was too big. Four sizes up. The blue fit me more or less.
—Look to see if there’s a size forty, the color doesn’t matter.
I told the boy.
He went and brought two pairs size 40 black. One fit me well and the other fit me bigger than size 42.
—Let’s do something, I’ll keep this black size 40 and you bring me the blue size 41. No problem.
—Yes sir.
I go to the register, where there are two girls collecting, and I pay for the shoes. One of the girls thought that the other was overcharging me for the amount in bolivars.
And who is not going to think that shit, if with the devaluation the prices in bolivars are immeasurable.
I already paid for the shoes, I sat right there and put on the blue ones. Because, according to the coaching shellfish girl, you can no longer hold a grudge; less new shoes.
For that reason, I remembered that in the years when Marcano and Gómez were world boxing champions we went to a shoe store in Cumaná, and there was a man in an espadrille who was buying some shoes, to measure them he took his socks out of his pocket, put them on and shoes were measured.
Dicks of life.
I put the old ones and the other new pair in a bag, and with the same I leave the shoe store. Fuck these 10 bucks like they’re Armani.
—I had about 30 bolivars left, I thought. We are going to buy Enalapril for Eugenia.
To screw up Locatel, there is no other.
As I’m walking I see a van made up of mobile pharmacies, I don’t know if they belong to the National Guard, the Government or who the hell. I had seen them before, but I hadn’t stopped them balls.
Since I had the Enalapril box in my pants pocket, I took it out and told a girl outside the van:
—Do you have this medicine?
—Yes, there is.
I go to the window and tell the saleswoman:
—Hello, how do you have this medicine?
—At 30 bolivars and it comes with 100 pills.
Vergation, dad accommodated.
—Give me a box, please.
I said it trembling my voice.
I paid for the medicine and came to a million before it rained and I got wet like hell.
I get to the stop and I see the bus I came in, I passed by for the other one; It wasn’t to make the driver give me a fart. And I asked:
—How’s the ticket?
—Four bolivars.
—Yes, when I came I paid three.
—How far does it go?
—Until there.
—So far there are three.
I got on board and I came.
The cock came out round. She was enough for me for the two pairs of shoes and for Eugenia’s medicine.
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